Dietary Considerations Gifts

"Excuse me, Father...is the host gluten-free?"

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

Soup of the month.

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

The discovery of asparagus.

"Two vegans, please."

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

"My parents won't allow sugar in the house, so I've had to learn about it on the street."

"It's completely normal for someone your age to develop a taste for butterscotch."

'I'm tired of this bread and water diet.'

'Dad, you know that I'd never buy a pet that eats meat. Luckily, I found a guy who sold me the World's only vegetarian dog!'

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

'This is gluten free, isn't it?'

"I eat a totally plant-based diet and I still can't lose weight."

'Mum, it's not fair: The principal said I was not allowed to take nuts to school anymore...'

'Vegetarian is an old Indian word which means bad hunter.'

'Come on, eat your spinach.' -' Sorry, I'm on a special diet...No toxic waste.'

Macho Vegetarian

"OK, hands up who’s vegan... lactose intolerant... peanut allergies..."

"You won’t need refills."

Looking at magnetic polarity one understands why an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"