Dietary Practices Gifts

"You are so lucky I keep kosher."

Soup of the month.

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"Two vegans, please."

The discovery of asparagus.

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

"Charles didn't like tofu."

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

'I'm tired of this bread and water diet.'

'Mum, it's not fair: The principal said I was not allowed to take nuts to school anymore...'

'Vegetarian is an old Indian word which means bad hunter.'

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

Looking at magnetic polarity one understands why an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

"You won’t need refills."

Macho Vegetarian

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

Cathy decides to remain standing on the scale until she loses weight.

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

'Most, yes, but they're not all carcinogenic!'

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

"Frankly Mr. Watkins - all your current health issues are down to you rubbish diet..."

"Some doctor that guy is - He's OBSESSED with diet and exercise!"

'According to Dr Alvin McDowell, everything that was good for you is now bad for you!'

'You're eating too much roughage.'

“Children hate me.”

'Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun.'