Dietary Habits Gifts

"...but Doc, I already eat plenty of oily fish!"

"I'm a vegetarian who eats meat."

"I know... everybody just assumes I'm a vegetarian."

'I just stopped by to tell you how much I hate you.'

"The doctor says I should go on a bland diet. There's no bland in this house!"

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

Soup of the month.

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

The discovery of asparagus.

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

"Two vegans, please."

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

"Charles didn't like tofu."

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

"My parents won't allow sugar in the house, so I've had to learn about it on the street."

"Carpe pizza"

'Dad, you know that I'd never buy a pet that eats meat. Luckily, I found a guy who sold me the World's only vegetarian dog!'

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

"I eat a totally plant-based diet and I still can't lose weight."

'Mum, it's not fair: The principal said I was not allowed to take nuts to school anymore...'

'Vegetarian is an old Indian word which means bad hunter.'

Looking at magnetic polarity one understands why an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

'Come on, eat your spinach.' -' Sorry, I'm on a special diet...No toxic waste.'

"You won’t need refills."

Macho Vegetarian