Eating Lifestyle Gifts

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

Sometimes he just stood back and admired the breathtaking scenery of his life.

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

Low-Energy Drinks

'I love my new easylife artist's easel.'

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"We're airship people, not mega-airship people."

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

Cat in a flap

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

Meanwhile in Hollywood

Exercise Class

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

"Only three more miles and tonight we're good for tiramisu!"

Secretive Weigh In.

"This is locally grown and good for the environment, but it may give you greenhouse gas."

"Charles didn't like tofu."

Exercising

"Honey, I can't go to the gym today. I feel too out-of-shape."

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

"Your blood sugar levels are off the chart! Just how many Hallmark Christmas movies did you watch?"

Trust

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

Man to woman leaving health club: 'The instructor said I had lots of body definition ... plump, rotund, obese, heavy ...'

'Home is where I hang my bat.'

"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

'No, you won't live longer if you give up sex and alcohol. But it'll seem like it.'

"Carpe pizza"

'Yes I do notice an improvement. Your chins don't juggle anymore.'