Dietary Awareness Gifts

Supermarket anti-flatulence sign

' So if Vegatarians only eat vegatables...does that mean Humanitarians only eat humans?'

"No added salt...no sugar...no saturated fats...no wheat...no flavour."

Gluten Free Dry Cleaning

"Early Bird, you need to go easy on the worms."

"Oh, oh...I detect traces of tree nuts...where's my epipen?"

'I stand here before you with a heavy heart. There is a growing wheat intolerance in our land, and that makes my stomach turn...But get this! They say that's what we're doing to them!'

'Some of the women are asking if the manna is gluten-free.'

Squirrel in tree with t-shirt saying ''may contain nuts.'

Produce Greenhouse Gases. . . Eat More Beef!

"Thank you for the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, Mrs Williams, but I'm allergic to peanuts, gluten, and I'm pre-diabetic."

"No idea if it's gluten free, Hansel. Can't you just eat the stupid thing?"

"It's always the same at this time of year..."

"Have a banana."

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

'I'm tired of this bread and water diet.'

'Mum, it's not fair: The principal said I was not allowed to take nuts to school anymore...'

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

"OK, hands up who’s vegan... lactose intolerant... peanut allergies..."

Deep in the Heart of Texas: The Cholesterol Kid.

'Most, yes, but they're not all carcinogenic!'

Aiiiii! Fat! Cholesterol! Food!

"Excuse me, Father...is the host gluten-free?"

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

'It's getting harder every day to make a living at this.'

"Sunday dinner just isn't the same without growth promoters"

GMOs

"There. Straight from the organic veggie patch. The world's most expensive carrot."

"Okay, who hasn’t eaten a McDonald’s burger in the past two days?"

'I'll have the food scare of the day.'

Healthy Chocolate Co.

'Couldn't Jack Spratt eat polyunsaturated fat?'