Dietary Issues Gifts

"I have no idea what gluten is, either, but I'm avoiding it, just to be safe."

"Because vulnerable to kryptonite sounds cooler than lactose intolerant."

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

"Charles didn't like tofu."

Tell me about it--last night I ate a whole sleeve of Communion wafers.

"It's completely normal for someone your age to develop a taste for butterscotch."

'Mum, it's not fair: The principal said I was not allowed to take nuts to school anymore...'

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

"Excuse me, Father...is the host gluten-free?"

'I'm fat, I eat too much and my blood pressure is high. . . Have a beer and some chips but feel guilty about it.'

Squirrel in tree with t-shirt saying ''may contain nuts.'

"Early Bird, you need to go easy on the worms."

"Ambitions... to eat, drink and be merry."

'Chocolate covered raisins, chocolate covered strawberries...is not what I mean when I said that fruit is healthy for you.'

"That's why you need to chew your food!" (cow deposited a hay bale).

"Just Desserts" and "Unjust Desserts"

'And the winner for best supporting animal in a frozen ready meal goes to...'

Edith told Hank that if he gained any more weight, she's leave him. Hank just wanted the cake and Edith too.

"What? I have a nut allergy."

"Thank you for the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, Mrs Williams, but I'm allergic to peanuts, gluten, and I'm pre-diabetic."

"No thanks, mom. I'm on a vegetable free diet."

"Oh, oh...I detect traces of tree nuts...where's my epipen?"

"You're prediabetic. I can't help you unless you decide to eat less sugar - or more sugar."

'I'm really not eating a balanced diet. I'm always replacing meals with snacks. Maybe I should be taking a multivitamin before I eat a donut.'

Skinny Santa Claus munches on carrot, as obese Rudolph eats mince pie.

"Have a banana."

"Oh no, Professor Enriquez, you misunderstood... When my brother said he was on a vegetarian diet, he meant he only eats vegetarians!"

Scale SOS!

"If you don't plan on snacking at night, then why did you move the refrigerator in here?"

'well, then, I guess you're also lactose substitute intolerant.'

"I'm eating for two-for me and the me who is on a diet."