High-fiber Foodie Gifts

"Gerald converted the barbecue grill to natural gas."

Nun shakes out the farts from under her habit.

"Nice one, Dad!"

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

"Do you have any knitting patterns for somebody who can only count to five?"

'What are you eating now?'

"It's been 10 years Martha, why are we still eating quinoa?"

'Can I have a Banana-Split' without the ice-cream?'

Tzatzikicicle

"Who ordered the moose en croute?"

"Is it me, or would a dung beetle taste really good right now?"

"Here's your sweater back."

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."

'I'll have one regular cheese-burger from column 'A', and one negative-calories cheese-burger from column 'B'.'

Gastroenterology - Pull Finger For Service.

Sawdust.

'I gave her that ball of yarn...'

"You heard your mother. There's no need to bless the superfoods."

'A tiny kitchen, one cook, and great food...I don't know how they do it.'

Give me a child at seven and I will show you the MAN!

'You're eating too much roughage.'

Early bird special - Grilled Pterodactyl.

"Be right with you - just need to call for a tow truck and change today's 'Catch of the Day' to venison."

Okay... which one of you ordered the holy mackerel?

House of Beans - No Smoking.

De ja vu soup - 'It was yesterday's 'soup of the day'.'

How is your soup, sir? Speaking for myself, it looks pretty good. I can't speak for the fly, of course.

'It says, 'If you want more fiber, eat the package.'

'Yes, it is a carrot. You haven't been getting enough fibre.'

If the fruit isn't genetically modified, explain the fruit fly.

'Actually, I kind of like peas, but if I eat them, what will mom think of next?'

Eye of Newt Helper