Festive Strategist Gifts

"Just how do you propose to pay for this giveaway?"

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

"For Christmas, Santa is bringing sales in at plan."

Santa using the stock exchange to keep track of stocks and bonds being good or bad as well as going up or down

'Santa is the delivery man, I'm the CEO. Do you know what a CEO is, Lisa?'

Operation Christmas Tree.

Thanksgiving Feast. Get lots of turkey, but not too much of you'll have to take a pause at the nap box. I'm skipping the cranberries and going for the green beans and the potatoes. I'm at the stuffing now and getting bonus points for extra gravy! Hey! There's a shortcut through the corn, straight to the pumpkin pie! I win! Not so fast. You missed the most important spot where you give thanks for your family and friends. Oh, you're right. It's okay that I didn't win. I'll get you tomor

"What're you doing for Christmas, Randy?"

Santa and Robin Hood Talk Merger.

'Liberal party HQ' 'Champagne strategists required'

To keep the kids from shaking the presents, the Milmonts got a Dispenso-Gift.

"I've got a great deal for us...if we're willing to sponsor Christmas."

"Sponsoring Christmas this year was an act of sheer marketing genius."

Gracie hatches a plan to trap Santa.

"It's only weeks to Christmas. We have him right where we want him."

"Christmas catalog blowout!"

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

Mrs Claus - North Pole Dancing.

"Really! How many 'How to Survive the Festive Season' articles does one man need?"

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

Yo ho ho!

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

"Of course, I'm willing to negotiate. . ."

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

"Just as I feared. Tariffs."

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

Merry Kissmas

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

"Let's say an immediate $10.00 allowance increase plus an annual 8% cost of living raise and I'll call him off."

'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

'I agreed to guide you, My contract says nothing about pulling a sleigh,'

'Since you only work one night a year, it will take centuries to build up your retirement account.'