Festive Story Critic Gifts

It happened on Christmas Eve

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

Christmas Presents.

Father Christmas Painting Robins.

"Once upon a time there was a kind bank manager who found all the money lost in the global financial meltdown, brought world peace, stopped global warming, cured the common cold and discovered Julian Assange is Santa."

'Where were the wise women?'

Bad gifts

Snowman has twisted, wonky carrot nose: 'Apparently, it's organic.'

'Whatever happened to 'Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.''

'I am the ghost of Christmas future...with fries!'

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

'Due to budget cuts we are having to take on more temporary staff.'

A feminist Christmas.

Merry Sisyphus - Christmas pudding being pushed up a mountain.

"30 million cookies and thousands of gallons of milk all in one night? Yes, I'd say we've got dietary issues to address."

Knight before Christmas

'Well, hello, Mr. Christmas!'

Your dad is a union man, isn't he?

'No, I'm not writing to Santa, I'm writing a blog questioning the validity of Santa, since he has no web presence.'

'My brother got all the glory. For me it was Randolph with your nose so pink, you really make my sleigh team stink.'

Santa hosing the Chimney.

"Due to budget cuts, I will be your Ghost of Christmas Past, Present and Future."

'I feel so much safer with an air marshal on board.'

"So Mr. Claus, there is a Virginia!"

C.P.A.

The composer of the 'Twelve Days of Christmas' song.

'Times are hard so these will have to be presents for Christmas and birthday combined!'

Antique shop owner looks at old chalice, saying: 'Well, it MIGHT be worth something if it had the original myrrh inside.'

"We had no sherry so I left him some of your dad's home brew instead."

"Well, if you expect me to be good, you'll have to bring me something better than the rubbish I got last year!"

T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring...except Bert who had a weak bladder!

Santa's Reindeer on New Year's Eve.