Festive Story Lover Gifts

We Three Kings

"Maybe I should wake him?"

'...Santa delivers to Yorkshire first...everybody else has to wait because they're not as good.'

'Let me see if I've got this straight: There are bucks among you named Prancer and Vixen, but you're teasing me?'

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

"I'm sorry, but my costs were way out of control."

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

Father Christmas Painting Robins.

Snowman

"Perhaps it wasn't so wise to bring Frosty along!"

"Once upon a time there was a kind bank manager who found all the money lost in the global financial meltdown, brought world peace, stopped global warming, cured the common cold and discovered Julian Assange is Santa."

"I believe I you, Bigfoot."

'Then it's approved. We move from the North Pole at once due to melting of the polar ice caps.'

A feminist Christmas.

Knight before Christmas

"The other reindeer sent me back to the smoking section."

'I hate it when he's in one of his silly festive moods.'

After they became friends, Rudolph found out just what reindeer games the reindeer played.

"Due to budget cuts, I will be your Ghost of Christmas Past, Present and Future."

Ice skating boyfriends

"He is stingy. If he is giving gold it's only because prices have hit rock-bottom..."

Can you guess what it is yet?

It happened on Christmas Eve

Antique shop owner looks at old chalice, saying: 'Well, it MIGHT be worth something if it had the original myrrh inside.'

'Christmas, Ms. Sims, is the chink in my armor.'

"Just put one foot directly in front of the other, sir, and walk in as straight a line as possible."

"I'm a little angel when I'm asleep. Does that count?"

Balloon ski lift

'Rudolph, I've reason to believe that you're moonlighting for a mobile phone company.'

"Oh man! We're in a snowglobe!"

Season's Greetings and a Prosperous New Year.

Happy Easter!

Has he been smoking dope? Of course, how else do you think we get off the ground?