Festive Commentator Gifts

Records Dept. Tell them I don't use my knowledge of who's naughty or nice to make political endorsements.

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

Christmas Presents.

"Of course, I'm willing to negotiate. . ."

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

Bad gifts

"Just as I feared. Tariffs."

Snowman has twisted, wonky carrot nose: 'Apparently, it's organic.'

'Whatever happened to 'Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.''

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

'Oh, Christ.'

'Due to budget cuts we are having to take on more temporary staff.'

Merry Sisyphus - Christmas pudding being pushed up a mountain.

The Porkypine Pals Christmas Adventure - Part Four

'Well, hello, Mr. Christmas!'

Your dad is a union man, isn't he?

'No, I'm not writing to Santa, I'm writing a blog questioning the validity of Santa, since he has no web presence.'

Santa Claus writes a 'Yule Blog'.

Santa hosing the Chimney.

Santa with a boy on his knee:' I've got your 300 dollars. Did you bring your Mom and Dad's social security numbers and password information?'

There IS a Santa Claus.

It happened on Christmas Eve

T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring...except Bert who had a weak bladder!

"Well, if you expect me to be good, you'll have to bring me something better than the rubbish I got last year!"

The composer of the 'Twelve Days of Christmas' song.

"We had no sherry so I left him some of your dad's home brew instead."

C.P.A.

"So Mr. Claus, there is a Virginia!"

'And the Angel of the Lord said unto them, 'Go fill all thy shops with overpriced tat, stuff thyselves sill for four months and see if thou canst get away with calling it Christmas.'

"Santa's trying to corner the futures market for coal in anticipation of his visit to Washington."

'Times are hard so these will have to be presents for Christmas and birthday combined!'

Ever vigilant, the restive Claus uses it to get an early start on the naughty and nice list.