Festive Felinist Pillows

See? I made the tree cat-proof!

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

Mrs Claus - North Pole Dancing.

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

Yo ho ho!

The Problem with On-the-fly Christmas Caroling

"Hmm. The lights are on, but nobody's home..."

"If I survive this holiday, I'm moving to a pond."

Christmas sweater alternatives

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

'And that,and that,and that...'

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

The other days of the year...

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'

A Christmas tree self portrait

Merry Kissmas

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

'I agreed to guide you, My contract says nothing about pulling a sleigh,'

'I don't believe in myself any more.'

'Due to budget cuts we are having to take on more temporary staff.'

"Normally after 365 years we'd be looking at a better figure, but not when you've only worked one day a year!"

Are we human or are we Dancer, Prancer, Comet and Vixen

There's no place like Ho-Ho-Home

"Pull over, Rudolph! We'll have to charge the electric sleigh again..."

'First she called my mother, and then she called Santa.'