Festive Duelist Pillows

"En garde!"

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

The Problem with On-the-fly Christmas Caroling

"We'll see how it goes. It's Santa's first year with the genetically modified deer."

Classic Emojis for sale.

Bad gifts

The New Year's Dance

Dollar Sign Christmas Tree.

'Listen, Santa. Either you repay what you owe, or we reposses Rudolph!'

Safe Christmas.

'For my family, Christmas and New Year's Eve is the busiest time... my husband is a spirits dealer and my son is an emergency doctor!'

"Santa, snow is falling." "Sell snow!"

'No, I'm not writing to Santa, I'm writing a blog questioning the validity of Santa, since he has no web presence.'

Santa using the stock exchange to keep track of stocks and bonds being good or bad as well as going up or down

The composer of the 'Twelve Days of Christmas' song.

'We had a white Christmas but we'll be in the red until April.'

"I don't know about you Mavis but I'm Mullered."

Dogs play the double bass

'Sorry - I left the naughty kid files on the train.'

Christmas card access

Xmas

Elf

"How married are you to 'Merry Christmas' in the title?"

'no, they're not playing our song - they're playing your song.'

'You guys like to get into the holiday spirits?'

"Kids on the right, elves on the left."

"During the holidays, we like to refer to organ donation as 'regifting.'"

'Of course I believe in Santa. Just not a publicly funded one.'

Christmas Fatigue.

"Bartender - givish me another shot."

Carolling