Festive Elf Pillows

"Spoiler alert, kiddo! Your online profile is showing a lot more naughty than nice!"

"So that's 45,000 Playstations, 198,000 smartphones and 50 million GP consultations."

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

"No, you definitely wouldn't get Christmas Eve off."

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

"We'll see how it goes. It's Santa's first year with the genetically modified deer."

Classic Emojis for sale.

The Problem with On-the-fly Christmas Caroling

'Avoid the Christmas rush, drink now.

"We all go a bit crackers over Christmas, just try to pull yourself together."

A Sweet Christmas Connection

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

"Will you only promise the children toys that can be brought at this store?"

"Don't even think about it."

Safe Christmas.

'Ahh...I see you travelling far and wide on a long fruitless mission but you still can't find a town centre parking space this Christmas...'

'That was SO worth it!' - Christmas Tree Toppled

Dec. 26

NSA is coming to town.

Christmas Chopin

'I'm not saying that global warming is a reality...'

It won't be Christmas without you!

Our busy Sundays are Christmas, Easter and hurricane season.

"He said, 'Won't you guide my sleigh tonight?' I thought that meant steer."

U.S Airspace missile detection meets Santa

How it began: Mr. & Mrs. Clause

"That was naughty AND nice."

Party Scene

"I'm afraid this year due to the threat of terrorist attacks...customs controls...parking restrictions...I have decided to outsource the Christmas operation to Ebay and Amazon."

"Mum, I think Grandad's run out of batteries."

'Not bad, what about the Christmas Cards?'

Xmas

'Sorry - I left the naughty kid files on the train.'