Feng Shui Master Gifts

What They Believe In

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

Surfing the daily stress

Fight or Flight

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

"Eventually, you'll learn to hate your body, then love it again, then hate it—and back and forth until the beach becomes very complicated."

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

"Well, if you're still awake when the time changes, you'll lose an hour of overthinking everything, too."

Meditation

'You've got, like, a Feng Shui problem with your pancreas, dude.'

"Showoff"

"Serenity's cool and all, but when do we get to bliss?"

'Oh, just chuck it in a corner somewhere...'

Need an elevated state of mind too!

Behind the Scenes of Your Wednesday Night Yoga Class

...My feng shui would be incompatible with your sumo wrestling.

Japanese woman in minimalist house reads 'How to Clutter Your Life'

'Davinia! Your Feng Shui person's here.'

"After the judicial system, I'm my own harshest critic."

'He keeps grounding out the energy flow.'

"Well, your feng shui isn't my feng shui."

"... and this is Carol’s stupid meditation room."

'It may not be your feng shui, but it's my feng shui.'

Anger Management: Breathe in and Breathe out.

"Don't these fools realize they're violating every principle of feng-shui?"

"That Feng Shui class I took is paying off!"

'I warned him about thinking the unthinkable!'

Visual Gag: Dracula reading a Fang Shui book. The Vampires version of 'Feng' Shui

"Yes, it's sort of a yearning disability."