Feng Shui Master T-Shirts

What They Believe In

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

Surfing the daily stress

Fight or Flight

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

"Eventually, you'll learn to hate your body, then love it again, then hate it—and back and forth until the beach becomes very complicated."

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

Meditation

"Well, if you're still awake when the time changes, you'll lose an hour of overthinking everything, too."

'Are we there yet? Huh? Have we achieved Nirvana yet? Huh, have we?'

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

'You've got, like, a Feng Shui problem with your pancreas, dude.'

"Showoff"

Need an elevated state of mind too!

...My feng shui would be incompatible with your sumo wrestling.

"Serenity's cool and all, but when do we get to bliss?"

Behind the Scenes of Your Wednesday Night Yoga Class

'Oh, just chuck it in a corner somewhere...'

Japanese woman in minimalist house reads 'How to Clutter Your Life'

"After the judicial system, I'm my own harshest critic."

'Davinia! Your Feng Shui person's here.'

"Well, your feng shui isn't my feng shui."

"... and this is Carol’s stupid meditation room."

Tree Pose To Support

'He keeps grounding out the energy flow.'

'It may not be your feng shui, but it's my feng shui.'

"Don't these fools realize they're violating every principle of feng-shui?"

Anger Management: Breathe in and Breathe out.

As soon as I've extinguished my ego, I'm going to take some "me" time.

What're you doing today, Darlene? Power relaxing. 9 to 10:15 I'm reading the paper. 10:20 to 11:30 I'm getting my nails done while reading Catch 22 for my books club. 11:45 to 1, I'm eating lunch, catching up on calls, paying bills then kicking back on the couch from 1 to 1:15. The afternoon is sheer bliss. Yoga from 2-3, Pilates from 3-4, massage from 4-5, meditation 5-6. Now move. Please now! You're interfering with my relaxing. How the type-A spend their Sundays. 10:02, bathroom break. Everyo

"Love your feng shui!"

What your house plant says about you...

'I warned him about thinking the unthinkable!'

Visual Gag: Dracula reading a Fang Shui book. The Vampires version of 'Feng' Shui