Feng Shui Expert T-Shirts

'Davinia! Your Feng Shui person's here.'

'Oh my God! Call the Feng Shui expert!'

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

'You've got, like, a Feng Shui problem with your pancreas, dude.'

"Showoff"

...My feng shui would be incompatible with your sumo wrestling.

'Oh, just chuck it in a corner somewhere...'

Japanese woman in minimalist house reads 'How to Clutter Your Life'

'He keeps grounding out the energy flow.'

"Well, your feng shui isn't my feng shui."

'It may not be your feng shui, but it's my feng shui.'

"Don't these fools realize they're violating every principle of feng-shui?"

"That Feng Shui class I took is paying off!"

Visual Gag: Dracula reading a Fang Shui book. The Vampires version of 'Feng' Shui

'Well Miss Hayward, your suggestion of trying Feng Shui didn't work.'

"Love your feng shui!"

Frat House Feng Shui

'I want you to sit up front right by my desk. It's not because I want to keep an eye on you. It's a feng shui thing.'

'Eddie, you've tried aggressive growth, multicaps, small caps, blue chips...now maybe it's time to try a support group for underperforming portfolios?'

The Feng Shui of the road must be off.

Feng Sushi

'It's definitely a tattoo that I can reflect on in the future.'

'How was your luck, dear?'

'We want to adopt a kid. Do you have a choice our feng shui consultant can look at?'

'A surgeon operated on the wrong side of the operating room, and is being charged with medical feng shui malpractice.'

"For Feng Shui I'd like to move your liver above your lungs.''

'To maximize student achievement, the Feng Shui consultant advises one student per classroom.'

'I moved the computer and phone off my desk. You wouldn't understand. It's a Feng Shui thing and it has successfully reduced my job related stress.'

"Good afternoon. Feng-shui consultation bureau."

'Mountain guru avoids getting killed by falling boulder.'

Rare Exceptions: The Straw that became a massage therapist dedicated to treating chronic back pain in camels...

"I'll take this Feng Shui for Cats. And spare me the eye-rolls, please."

"Feng Shwoops!"

Feng Shui for Farmers

"I'll Feng Shui your teeth if you don't stop moving the furniture about."