Aspiring Feng Shui Master T-Shirts

'Feng Shui class'

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

Annoying neighbours - irritating wind chimes

'You've got, like, a Feng Shui problem with your pancreas, dude.'

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind and cashflow."

...My feng shui would be incompatible with your sumo wrestling.

FAQs.

Japanese woman in minimalist house reads 'How to Clutter Your Life'

'Davinia! Your Feng Shui person's here.'

'He keeps grounding out the energy flow.'

"Well, your feng shui isn't my feng shui."

'It's noble of you to want to keep your employees happy, but I can't help by prescribing something for them.'

'It may not be your feng shui, but it's my feng shui.'

"Don't these fools realize they're violating every principle of feng-shui?"

'It's normal -- Enlightenment freaks a lot of people out.'

"That Feng Shui class I took is paying off!"

What your house plant says about you...

"Love your feng shui!"

Visual Gag: Dracula reading a Fang Shui book. The Vampires version of 'Feng' Shui

'Well Miss Hayward, your suggestion of trying Feng Shui didn't work.'

I'd like to order a power outage. Huh? My wife's on her phone all day, my son plays video games nonstop. My boss finds me by email wherever and whenever. My pager rings 'round the clock! Say again? I was text messaging. Pull the plug, man!

Zen and the Art of Procrastination.

Frat House Feng Shui

'I want you to sit up front right by my desk. It's not because I want to keep an eye on you. It's a feng shui thing.'

"The meaning of life is having a spectacular view."

'Eddie, you've tried aggressive growth, multicaps, small caps, blue chips...now maybe it's time to try a support group for underperforming portfolios?'

"No, I don't have any weed."

Ed listens to one too many relaxation CDs...

The Feng Shui of the road must be off.

'To maximize student achievement, the Feng Shui consultant advises one student per classroom.'

'We want to adopt a kid. Do you have a choice our feng shui consultant can look at?'

'The meaning of life is heads they win, tails you lose.'

'A surgeon operated on the wrong side of the operating room, and is being charged with medical feng shui malpractice.'

Guru Shifted Thinking

'It's definitely a tattoo that I can reflect on in the future.'