Aspiring Feng Shui Master Gifts

'Feng Shui class'

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

Annoying neighbours - irritating wind chimes

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind and cashflow."

'You've got, like, a Feng Shui problem with your pancreas, dude.'

...My feng shui would be incompatible with your sumo wrestling.

Japanese woman in minimalist house reads 'How to Clutter Your Life'

'Davinia! Your Feng Shui person's here.'

"Well, your feng shui isn't my feng shui."

'He keeps grounding out the energy flow.'

'It's noble of you to want to keep your employees happy, but I can't help by prescribing something for them.'

'It may not be your feng shui, but it's my feng shui.'

"Don't these fools realize they're violating every principle of feng-shui?"

'It's normal -- Enlightenment freaks a lot of people out.'

"Love your feng shui!"

"That Feng Shui class I took is paying off!"

'Well Miss Hayward, your suggestion of trying Feng Shui didn't work.'

Visual Gag: Dracula reading a Fang Shui book. The Vampires version of 'Feng' Shui

Frat House Feng Shui

Zen and the Art of Procrastination.

'I want you to sit up front right by my desk. It's not because I want to keep an eye on you. It's a feng shui thing.'

"The meaning of life is having a spectacular view."

'Eddie, you've tried aggressive growth, multicaps, small caps, blue chips...now maybe it's time to try a support group for underperforming portfolios?'

The Feng Shui of the road must be off.

Ed listens to one too many relaxation CDs...

"No, I don't have any weed."

'The meaning of life is heads they win, tails you lose.'

'We want to adopt a kid. Do you have a choice our feng shui consultant can look at?'

'To maximize student achievement, the Feng Shui consultant advises one student per classroom.'

Guru Shifted Thinking

Feng Sushi

'It's definitely a tattoo that I can reflect on in the future.'

'A surgeon operated on the wrong side of the operating room, and is being charged with medical feng shui malpractice.'