Feng Shui Philosopher Gifts

The Feng Shui of the road must be off.

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

'You've got, like, a Feng Shui problem with your pancreas, dude.'

Creativity

'Oh, just chuck it in a corner somewhere...'

...My feng shui would be incompatible with your sumo wrestling.

Japanese woman in minimalist house reads 'How to Clutter Your Life'

'I'm afraid I'll fall and no one will hear me.'

'Davinia! Your Feng Shui person's here.'

'He keeps grounding out the energy flow.'

"Well, your feng shui isn't my feng shui."

Deer against capital punishment about to be shot.

'It may not be your feng shui, but it's my feng shui.'

"Don't these fools realize they're violating every principle of feng-shui?"

Visual Gag: Dracula reading a Fang Shui book. The Vampires version of 'Feng' Shui

"That Feng Shui class I took is paying off!"

"Love your feng shui!"

'Well Miss Hayward, your suggestion of trying Feng Shui didn't work.'

Frat House Feng Shui

"Don't worry, Jules. It'll come up on your side of the house in just 12 hours."

'I want you to sit up front right by my desk. It's not because I want to keep an eye on you. It's a feng shui thing.'

'Eddie, you've tried aggressive growth, multicaps, small caps, blue chips...now maybe it's time to try a support group for underperforming portfolios?'

'A surgeon operated on the wrong side of the operating room, and is being charged with medical feng shui malpractice.'

"For Feng Shui I'd like to move your liver above your lungs.''

Feng Sushi

'To maximize student achievement, the Feng Shui consultant advises one student per classroom.'

'We want to adopt a kid. Do you have a choice our feng shui consultant can look at?'

'I moved the computer and phone off my desk. You wouldn't understand. It's a Feng Shui thing and it has successfully reduced my job related stress.'

"Why can't they call it a 'Deer' or a 'Squirrel' market?"

"Good afternoon. Feng-shui consultation bureau."

"I'm sorry your girlfriend left you, Frank...but you must concentrate on the job!"

"I'll Feng Shui your teeth if you don't stop moving the furniture about."

"Feng Shwoops!"

'It's bad news for the cabin boy.'

"Am I rusting? I think one of my sections is sinking. Oh, no! I thought I heard the gate squeak."