Feng Shui Consultant Gifts

"Good afternoon. Feng-shui consultation bureau."

"I can't get my IT guy and my Feng Shui guy to agree on the new office renovation!"

'To maximize classroom instruction, the feng shui consultant advises one student desk per classroom.'

Feng Shui for Farmers

Feng Shui Centre - We Have Moved

"I can't get good grades in that school, Mom - The feng shui is all wrong."

'To maximize student achievement, the Feng Shui consultant advises one student per classroom.'

Feng Shui Consultants

The Saunders' Feng Shui consultant reaches the garden shed.

'Donna has been taking FENG SHUI classes.'

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

'You can balance the energies of your space by moving money from your bank account to mine.'

Rare Exceptions: The Straw that became a massage therapist dedicated to treating chronic back pain in camels...

"I'll Feng Shui your teeth if you don't stop moving the furniture about."

"Fifty thousand yen for feng shui consultant!!"

'We want to adopt a kid. Do you have a choice our feng shui consultant can look at?'

'Our counselor thinks we can work it out, but my Feng Shui consultant says I should divorce him.'

'Our counselor thinks we can work it out, but my Feng Shui consultant says I should divorce him.'

I'd like you to... ward off evil spirits coming from the Inland Revenue office across the way.

'Our counselor thinks we can work it out, but my Feng Shui consultant says I should divorce him.'

'He keeps grounding out the energy flow.'

'Come in - sit anywhere - sorry about the mess.'

'You've got, like, a Feng Shui problem with your pancreas, dude.'

...My feng shui would be incompatible with your sumo wrestling.

'Oh, just chuck it in a corner somewhere...'

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

Japanese woman in minimalist house reads 'How to Clutter Your Life'

'Davinia! Your Feng Shui person's here.'

The Dangers of National Safety Week.

"Well, your feng shui isn't my feng shui."

'It may not be your feng shui, but it's my feng shui.'

"Don't these fools realize they're violating every principle of feng-shui?"

"That Feng Shui class I took is paying off!"

'This scent goes well with a diamond necklace.'

Visual Gag: Dracula reading a Fang Shui book. The Vampires version of 'Feng' Shui