Fence Fan Gifts

"The fence keeps the Locavores out."

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

Raptures

Yoyo sheep

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

Stationers' sign leaking ink onto a passer-by.

En garde!

Apparently all our farts damage the ozone layer....

Bird collecting furniture for it's home.

'Hold on, Bob. I'm downshifting.'

'Remember to eat your 500,000 a day son!'

"Why so aloof in here? When you're on base, you yak your ass off with every Yankee in sight."

"It's beautiful. I'm just not sure it's $800 beautiful."

Despite Having Given Up His Veterinary Practice George liked To Keep His Hand In...

'This'll save a couple of journeys!'

"It's a scientific breakthrough! This seed will produce less corn...thus driving up the price!"

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

Free Range Eggs - ""I've decided to sell up. I'm having trouble making hens meet."

'You've got lot toe!'

'Gurkenman! The fact that you've got a height-adjustable desk does not mean that you've been promoted into a higher position!'

"Hmmm. Not sure it will go with my wife."

U.S. Farm Production: Cup Runneth Over.

'Is it true you're covered in genuine pigskin?'

'I got the job, Mom. You always said I'd make a living with my hands.'

"One of your delicious ducks got into my yard yesterday."

You can always tell animals trained by 4H kids.

"We raise our beef humanely."

"I know you're thinking it. Don't say it!"

"Yes, Daisy, Buttercup and Violet: our farmer likes flowers. . ."

En-guard dog.