Feline Thinker Gifts

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

Cat in a tank...

"Hon, come quick! Mr. Puff has lowered his impenetrable wall of feline indifference, and it probably won't last long!"

The day the cat realized it was dependent.

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

PET THEORIES

'Hard to follow...'

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

"It's okay. I love hopping in bags!"

"Is listening to her talk about her feelings worth a tiny can of tuna?"

"OK, now what's the meaning of the other eight?"

'I'm sure they don't think you're really a bad kitty...just a kitty that sometimes does bad things.'

'You should try giving yourself a bath.'

"How do I get down?"

'All cats have 4 legs and fur. I have 4 legs and fur...It's too hard to think anymore.'

"Frankly, I think it's time we take a long hard look at cat futures."

Lola Knows More Than She Lets On

So doctor, what you're saying is that all the time I thought she was a crazy cat lady, it was me who had mental health issues...

Man asks haughty looking cat: "And how, exactly, do you qualify as a spokesman for the feline community?"

"You must now empty the Kitty Litter of your mind."

"Son, the key to a happy marriage is listening, or at least purr and pretend you are."

"My one regret is not napping more."

'I'm not an indoor cat. I'm a bitter, angry, frustrated, resentful, repressed cat.'

"Listen, and I'll explain it to you again..."

"The human is back - act normal."

Today is the first day of the rest of your nine lives.

"Any thoughts about pilling yourself?"

What if cats talked dirty...

"What have you done?"

Zen Kitten

"I'm not buying it."