Canine Thinker Gifts

I wonder if they can think...

"My new year's resolution. . . .Not to drink out of the toilet."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

People who let their big dogs run around leash free and then say things like. . .

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

In life there are things we cannot understand � the words 'get down,' invisible fences, cats...

'A bone is a bone is a bone...'

"The universe must love dogs - otherwise, why would sticks just fall from the sky?"

Dog phrenology

Shepherd, Herder, Hunter, Thinker.

Becoming The Good Boy They Say You Are

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

"May you love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, and chase squirrels at the speed of light."

"I do what they tell me, I eat what they give me. How do I know they're not a cult?"

"It's nice to be wanted."

I bark and bark and bark. . . Therefore I am.

"He's obedient as long as my requests align with his internal moral imperatives."

"He's sending an instant message."

'Actually, mine is a useless hunter, but we both love wandering idly in the woods...'

Public toiletsbathrooms for dogs using fire hydrants in cubicals.

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

"Great - Now what would be the second thing you'd do if you had opposable thumbs?"

'I can't come out to play, I have to help my owner work on his bike. Sometimes it sucks being a smart breed.'

"No, no, that's my copy of 'Being and Time'—look at the teeth marks along 'Heidegger'."

When dogs appear to be deep in thought.

"This ham bone did not have much meat on it by the time I met it, but it tasted of meat, and for that I am eternally grateful."

Descartes' dog.

"Why so sad, Pal?"

"You've done it, Martin - you've taught him to smile!"

"I wonder if the dumb obedience school gives a warranty..."

'I bark, eat, sleep, bark, eat, sleep, bark, eat, sleep! There has to be more than that!'