Canine Cognition Enthusiast Gifts

Dog phrenology

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

"When I was a puppy, I barked as a puppy, I understood as a puppy, I thought as a puppy. But when I became a dog, I put away puppy things except for my shabby, old, beat-up stuffy toy. I still freaking love this thing."

"This says dogs can exhibit feelings of jealousy."

"He's sending an instant message."

'I can't come out to play, I have to help my owner work on his bike. Sometimes it sucks being a smart breed.'

"You're doing great boy! Just don't bark."

"No, no, that's my copy of 'Being and Time'—look at the teeth marks along 'Heidegger'."

"Tonight... Hemingway."

"My new year's resolution. . . .Not to drink out of the toilet."

"We laugh, but it's a mirthless laugh."

'After years of trying, he caught his tail.'

"I'm still very impressed by natural intelligence."

"I take it you agree that there can be no meaningful thought without the existence of language."

Memory Clinic - Old What's His Name, Director.

'Oh, I just knew that darned obedience school was a mistake!'

I wonder if they can think...

Anatomy Of A Dog's Brain

"You're the one with the fancy forensic psychology degree; you tell me which one of them did it."

'Sit! Fetch! Beg! Heel! Speak! When will he make up his mind?'

"Why do you keep choosing scissors when you know she picks rock every time?"

When Dachshunds dream.

Rockwell School (Dog disguised as pupil).

Dog listening to ''Paws For Thought'' on the radio.

"Why can't you just fetch and beg like a normal dog?"

I wonder if he can think.

"Let's stop pretending we understand the English setters and just turn on the subtitles."

"In the old days Oscar would've eaten him alive."

"I wonder if they have any real intelligence!"

"Geez man. Who keeps a mouse for a pet anyway."

"Oh yes, they're quite an intelligent breed."

"Separation anxiety."

'He's psychic, but only when it comes to can openers.'

"What if I'm actually in love with the mailman?"