Fearless Patient Gifts

"Not that one...the big one on the top shelf!"

Dentist straps man in so he can't escape.

"This is going to be a little invasive."

'Pills and medicine are okay, but really doctor, I don't do shots.'

"We have adult teeth now, and, as such, they demand adult pain."

'O.K. Now say, Arrrghh!'

"Well, maybe not that wide."

Dentriloquist: 'This won't hurt a bit!'

'Martha's going to give you something now so you won't notice the drilling.'

"I'm afraid they've all got to come out Mr Wilkins."

'Let me know if I hurt you.'`

'Who wants to be examined first?'

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

"Should be back soon. He's just out catching a few x-rays."

"Good news, Mr. Pickett—it's just a slow leak."

"And that was just your sudoku chart."

'Where'd he go, nurse?'

"I've never felt better in my life."

'We dicovered that this cures hypochondria without administering it.'

Lady asking a man to Jump over a gate before her

'This won't hurt a bit...'

"I see there's been an improvement in your athlete's foot."

'Sergeant Major here is going to help us overcome our fear issues...he's ex Army!'

"You sure have a funny way of making someone feel better."

'-and who's next?'

"At this time I'd like to ask you to remain calm, fasten your seat belt and flap your arms just as fast as you can."

"You're research is very promising. It's just a shame you're afraid of mice"

'It's hard to have confidence in a doctor whose office plants don't look very healthy.'

"Our winner for the 50th time in a row..."

'Very funny!'

Man sitting in hospital bed notices a Goldfish swimming in his Intravenous Bag.

'It's just a routine operation, Mr. Bush. No need to have your lawyer present.'

Dentistry jokes.

"It doesn't actually work. But it's a great motivator for people to take better care of their teeth."

"Have you considered spinal fusion?"