Joyful Patient Gifts

Xmas Decorations in Hospital

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

'It's nothing that a few stem cells and 75 years of research can't fix.'

"That's right - 'What doesn't kill me makes me stronger.' You just keep on thinking that..."

'Good news! Throwing yourself at the mercy of the cholesterol seems to have worked.'

'You don't have a heart murmur, but your liver is muttering.'

The New Age Dentist.

'Gee, Doc - couldn't you just use a rubber mallet to check my reflexes?'

'Admit it,you've been bothering the nurses again,haven't you?

"Good news, Mr. Pickett—it's just a slow leak."

"Hi! My name is Dr. Jenkins and welcome to 'This is your disease'."

"I've never felt better in my life."

"We have adult teeth now, and, as such, they demand adult pain."

Dancing Doctor

'What do you mean, I get a reprieve from my wife's cooking? My wife is a cook here at the hospital.'

Give it to me straight, Doc — what's the bottom line?

IV Bags: Main and Afters

'Regarding the surgery you just had - I hope you have a good sense of humour.'

'I had a stomach ache, so I took bicarb of soda and went to bed early. Did I do the right thing?'

"I see there's been an improvement in your athlete's foot."

"You sure have a funny way of making someone feel better."

'-and who's next?'

"Not that one...the big one on the top shelf!"

"Don't be alarmed! The Doctor's chiropractor recommended he work like this!"

"That reminds me, I was going to get my daughter piano lessons!"

'Pick something you can tolerate from this list of side effects and I'll prescribe something appropriate.'

"This is going to be a little invasive."

"Health insurance? Waking up breathing each morning is my health insurance!"

'It's hard to have confidence in a doctor whose office plants don't look very healthy.'

'Apparently the drugs make me hallucinate, not that I've noticed.'

"It doesn't actually work. But it's a great motivator for people to take better care of their teeth."

'He tries to stay happy in his work.'

Man sitting in hospital bed notices a Goldfish swimming in his Intravenous Bag.

'Very funny!'

"Does your tooth still hurt?"