Courageous Patient Gifts

"It doesn't actually work. But it's a great motivator for people to take better care of their teeth."

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

'It's nothing that a few stem cells and 75 years of research can't fix.'

"I think I can". (train)

'Good news! Throwing yourself at the mercy of the cholesterol seems to have worked.'

"That's right - 'What doesn't kill me makes me stronger.' You just keep on thinking that..."

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

'You don't have a heart murmur, but your liver is muttering.'

'Your test results are in - and here's a first, the Lab Techs have asked to meet you.'

The New Age Dentist.

'Gee, Doc - couldn't you just use a rubber mallet to check my reflexes?'

'Admit it,you've been bothering the nurses again,haven't you?

"Good news, Mr. Pickett—it's just a slow leak."

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

"Hi! My name is Dr. Jenkins and welcome to 'This is your disease'."

"I've never felt better in my life."

"We have adult teeth now, and, as such, they demand adult pain."

Give it to me straight, Doc — what's the bottom line?

'What do you mean, I get a reprieve from my wife's cooking? My wife is a cook here at the hospital.'

'Regarding the surgery you just had - I hope you have a good sense of humour.'

'I had a stomach ache, so I took bicarb of soda and went to bed early. Did I do the right thing?'

"I see there's been an improvement in your athlete's foot."

"You sure have a funny way of making someone feel better."

"If she was abused, why didn’t she report it?"

'-and who's next?'

"Not that one...the big one on the top shelf!"

'Pick something you can tolerate from this list of side effects and I'll prescribe something appropriate.'

"This is going to be a little invasive."

'Apparently the drugs make me hallucinate, not that I've noticed.'

"Health insurance? Waking up breathing each morning is my health insurance!"

'It's hard to have confidence in a doctor whose office plants don't look very healthy.'

"So tell me doc, what's new and exciting in pharmacology these days?".

'Very funny!'

Man sitting in hospital bed notices a Goldfish swimming in his Intravenous Bag.

Some patients may want to know more than others.