Fearless Forecasters Gifts

"Higgins is our best trader. . . he can smell fear."

Company sales forecast mirrors the weather

"An early spring was just a prediction- I can't actually control the weather!"

'We'll need lots of nappy changes today, the T. V. just said it's going to be wet and windy.'

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

Fear of news.

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

"Remember that optimistic, slightly crazy, throw a dart at the wall forecast? We beat it."

"Lighten up! Your charts aren't that bad."

"Well in our defence we did get the numbers right they were just in the wrong order!"

"What the hell happened to this town?"

'Following your 'barbecue summer' forecast, I'm revising predictions of your contract being reviewed.'

"We apparently exceeded our expectations but, do any of you remember what they were?"

"The bottom line is that we're going out on our bottoms!"

'Exactly what the forecast on telly.'

"Get a move on Hardwicke, we need it for the 6 o'clock news!"

'I used to work for the Treasury Department, but there's no future in economic forecasts.'

Never mind spring. What do you predict for the economy?

Making isobar map with elastic bands.

Weather prediction is guesswork.

Forecasters are two a penny. Supply exceeds demand.

"And then yesterday, I had an epiphany: The best way for me to overcome my paralyzing fear of a global ecological/economic collapse is to find a way to turn it into a lucrative career!"

'One nice thing about this, it has overcome my fear of height.'

'They did it again - not a word in the weather report about an ice age.'

"Someday a real rain will come and wash all the scum off the street. But today, expect occasional sprinkles."

"That's our projected sales."

Bruce The Unhelpful Weatherman

'Congratulations on winning Weather Forecaster of the Year, you rotten swine!'

"That man's a legend in this office. He has 100% accuracy in predicting the past."

"Wow! - Record climate emergency in Western Canada!. . ."

Weather bar

'Snow again, today...'

'In a dramatic reversal, economists now believe that leading economic indicators are now lagging economic indicators.'

Honest Weather Forecasting