Favorite Teacher Gifts

'It's special. It fell off a tree and hit me in the head, just like Mr.Newton.'

"I'd say hi to my favorite teacher, but I think she's enjoying some quiet remote-from-us learning."

Teacher Tips

'Does this have anything to do with Einstein's theory of relativity?'

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

Kid in class corrects teachers spelling.

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

Miss, how do you spell "acceptable"? I've Googled every "e" and can't find it.

"Could I ask just one question?"

'I had no idea aspirin came in such a large bottle.'

'Simpson! Stop causing low-level disruption in class now!'

'What begins with 'E'? Well, 'Everything'!'

"I know it may be wrong, but it's how I feel."

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

'Maths is fun!'

Higher wisdom...

'A dog ate my homework.'

"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

'I don't care if Jackson Pollock did start out this way. We are drawing kittens.'

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

In an unprecedented occurrence, Noah Webster fails his vocabulary test.

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

'146 days of leadership without any negative press.'

'This part was tenure.'

Presentation: Any questions?

Spring To Do List: Teach, Testing, Testing,Test Some More. . .

"If you do well in your first practicum, you can move on to teaching real children."

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

"Unfortunately, what you downloaded from the net is a ten-year-old paper I once wrote for my college boyfriend!"

'They say my tests are too hard. Maybe I should switch from Essay to Connect-the-Dot.'

'Eleven?.. you mean there's more numbers beyond the number of fingers we have?'

Child: 'If I've got five oranges, and you take away two, wouldn't that be stealing Miss?'

"I was a primary school teacher. What did you do?"

"OK...for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

"So you can tweet. That's why you have to learn the alphabet."