Friends Of A Teacher Gifts

'I told you you'd got Jimmy's homework wrong.'

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

'If history keeps repeating itself, why do I have to repeat this class?'

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

'This part was tenure.'

Spring To Do List: Teach, Testing, Testing,Test Some More. . .

'They say my tests are too hard. Maybe I should switch from Essay to Connect-the-Dot.'

"I was a primary school teacher. What did you do?"

"I don't like a school year that begins with 'while you were out'."

"Yes, Donald, I know you didn't expect a test today... that's why it's called a pop quiz!"

Teacher's pet dog

'Here's another email from a parent, written in lower case with no punctuation and seventeen spelling errors, demanding we do a better job of teaching social skills.'

"I'd say hi to my favorite teacher, but I think she's enjoying some quiet remote-from-us learning."

"Tell me again how many young minds I will have shaped by the end of my teaching career."

"I didn't know you could do worse than an F. When did they start handing out poop emojis?"

'I was going to teach them the meaning of life ... but it wasn't on the test.'

'The principal is keeping my teacher after school. She kicked the computer.'

'No Mis Evans. You know only substitute teachers are allowed to carry taser guns!'

Principal to teacher with trap door below her desk: 'The board thinks people teach better under pressure.'

'I'm sorry Mrs. Jackson, but when you've become as excellent of a teacher as you are, you've forfeited your right to retire.'

'You can never be too fit or too tenured.'

"Surely, as the world's only superpower, we're entitled to a little mischief now and then."

'It's the parents' 4x4x400 metres.'

You wouldn't believe the screams of joy I hear when I announce a school closing...and that's just the teachers!

'It has cut down on note-passing, glancing at fellow students' test papers and spitballs.'

"And if you look to the right you'll see what happens if you disrupt my class."

'There are ten questions on this quiz. Each is worth 20 points.'

'Teachers' Dreams.''Did you just say F***? Care to repeat it so everyone can hear you or is even a four letter word beyond your abilities? ... And the state expects me to make you multisyllabic.'

A Lesson in Leadership: Misplacing your keys isn't a problem, unless you have to enlist the whole school's support to find them.

"I asked the parents to get involved more and now they're home-schooling."

"There's the bell for respite. . . I mean, recess."

'I want you to text message 100 times, 'I will not text message in class.''

'A hidden cost of implementing common core standards in education...'

"I've never heard of a PE teacher giving football homework."