Elementary Teacher Admirer Gifts

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

'Does this have anything to do with Einstein's theory of relativity?'

Kid in class corrects teachers spelling.

Miss, how do you spell "acceptable"? I've Googled every "e" and can't find it.

"Could I ask just one question?"

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

'I had no idea aspirin came in such a large bottle.'

'Simpson! Stop causing low-level disruption in class now!'

'What begins with 'E'? Well, 'Everything'!'

"I know it may be wrong, but it's how I feel."

'Maths is fun!'

Higher wisdom...

'A dog ate my homework.'

"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

'I don't care if Jackson Pollock did start out this way. We are drawing kittens.'

"I thought your show-and-tell was really brave."

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

In an unprecedented occurrence, Noah Webster fails his vocabulary test.

'146 days of leadership without any negative press.'

Presentation: Any questions?

"If you do well in your first practicum, you can move on to teaching real children."

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

'Eleven?.. you mean there's more numbers beyond the number of fingers we have?'

"Unfortunately, what you downloaded from the net is a ten-year-old paper I once wrote for my college boyfriend!"

Child: 'If I've got five oranges, and you take away two, wouldn't that be stealing Miss?'

'The first person to learn anything leaves immediately!'

"I'm doing all I can to make the little things count."

Teacher boxing book: 'As I told you, today we're gonna really hit the books!'

"So you can tweet. That's why you have to learn the alphabet."

"OK...for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

'My teacher said my penmanship has really improved since I started doing my homework on an inkjet printer.'

The F.B.I.'s Least Wanted.

Luck is when good classroom management skills meets a day when distruptice students are absent.

'By the second week of instruction all first-graders should be able to count to one.'