Fatherhood Fix-it Pillows

"I hoped you'd change your hobby when you became a father"

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

Batman at the Maternity Ward

'He has your nose and my ears.'

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

"WHich one is mine?"

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

Growth Charts

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

'It's only 6 AM, but I want to send the kids to Wally's house before his mother sends him over here.'

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

"Skip the funny voices tonight—O.K., Dad?"

My daddy ate my homework

'You've got the Vietnam 1000 yard stare. All new parents get it!'

'Here comes the Papa-razzi again...'

"I knew we agreed that you could be a stay-at-home dad, but that's when we decide to have children."

"Your princess voice is kind of patronizing."

A man and baby wearing bibs

Skateboard

"Mommy! Mommy! Daddy lost!"

"Deny it all you want. He looks just like you."

"He looks so much like his dad."

'In this world, son, you've got to learn to push yourself.'

"Which one is yours?"

I love the way barbecues take you back to nature.

'Wow Dad, I'm growing fast: Soon, my tongue will be as long as yours...'

"Car accident? No, I volunteered to hold the rope for the pinata at my son's birthday party!"

You're right-this is way better than a standing desk.

"And try not to spill Daddy's Martini, Caleb."

'Don't forget to take your tranquilizers Daddy, little Jimmy is coming round to play.'

"Unfortunately, at this age I express glee and stark raving terror in the exact same way."