Fatherhood Pillows

Batman at the Maternity Ward

You're right-this is way better than a standing desk.

"Is it wrong to be evasive and not answer questions?"

"Well, sure I'd like to instill the values of hard work and discipline, but that takes hard work and discipline."

"Can I call you back? I'm creating happy memories of my childhood for my father."

"And try not to spill Daddy's Martini, Caleb."

'Well yes, all male seahorses are stay-at-home dads: We love it!'

man juggling career, home and children

"Because of your age, I'm going to recommend doing nothing."

"This is money—get ready to worry about it for the rest of your life."

"Three junior meals and a vasectomy, please."

Men Parenting

"Old is when your daughter announces she's seeing a younger man."

'I always drink from a travel mug at home. It makes me feel like I'm out of the house.'

"Unfortunately, at this age I express glee and stark raving terror in the exact same way."

"I make the decisions, Jeremy, because I'm the grown-up."

'Man pushing pram with baby.'

The Joy of Begetting

Train Driver Dad's Bedtime Story

Breasts for the men

'Here comes the Papa-razzi again...'

'Oh Hank, you say that now but once you have one it'll change your life.'

'It's 10 PM - do you know where the father of your children is?'

"Dad is a terrible cook....his stuff looks like it has been eaten before..."

"Someday you'll understand the ways of the world...with the exception of tax and health insurance forms."

'He looks exactly like his father!'

'Surprise!... guess what we're making?'

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

'Really? My dads cry all the time.'

Pregnant man: 'My water just broke! False alarm. Just spilled my brewski.'

'Ever notice how when Dad snores the whole house shakes?'

'King of the Jungle', yeah right: I can't even get my kids to listen to me...

Growth Charts

"The wife thinks he's at summer camp."

"Don't make me resort to alternative questioning techniques."