Fast Food Gourmet Gifts

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

"Would you like fries with that?"

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

The wonderful world of cheese.

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

Fast food. Even faster food

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

'You need an education or you will wind up in some fast food place.'

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

View to the Future

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

'I've already been recruited by one of the top fast-food chains in the country!'

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

'What clan do you belong to?'

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"We won!"

'Protein, starch, vegetable??? When you said 'square meal' I thought PIZZA IN A BOX!'

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

It turns out they don't go together so well,

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

Menu Dating

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

Too much cilantro

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"