Fast Food Gifts

'OK, that's two triple bacon double cheese burgers with extra mayo. Would you like a will with that?'

'...And six pickled eggs please.'

'Is it me or is it a bad idea to eat at a place that prints CPR instructions on their placemats?'

'Yeah, I knew you got wings when you went to heaven, but this isn't what I had in mind!'

'Did sombody say, McBypass'

Psycho Burger

Drive In - "That's $7.99, 2400 calories and 125 grams of fat."

'And finally, sir, would you like your burger flipped by a Ph.D. in Philosophy, History or English Literature?'

'I'll have a monsterburger with cheese and giant fries..oh! and a diet cola, I've got to watch my weight.'

'I suffer from overeating and manic depression.'

Me On A Diet: "I should not be eating this!"

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

The miracle of 2-for-1 pizza.

"I guess it's an OK job. Minimum wage plus all you can eat. I tried to quit once but couldn't get out the door."

'Sir, the drive-thru colonoscopy center is next door - but good for you for having it done.'

'Would you like to try our new Family-Style meal deal? While you eat I yell at you to be more like your brother then criticize what you're wearing before saying how much you've disappointed me and your father.'

'The salary was terrific, but something about Sally's new job made her very uneasy.'

'Clearly my client would be slim, healthy and attractive if MacBurger had adequately warned him of the dangers of eating every scrap of food in their restaurant.'

'I'd like a burger, fries and coffee - but at what cost!?' '$6.95.'

"You'll have to back out. We don't have a drive-through."

How was your hotdog?

'Donny and I are taking a year off to volunteer for the Pizza Corps.'

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

"With his augmented reality headset he's actually eating in a five star restaurant."

"Honey, have you seen my onions?"

"Maybe you're not underemployed - maybe you're just overeducated."

A small but significant step in the spiritual journey of a french fry: 'I am not junk!'

'You were in commodities - cattle, stuff like that - so you must feel right at home here.'

'55 minutes? Really? And you call yourself the fastest land mammal?'

'We're losing the mid-morning market. Let's put a hamburger in a glazed donut and call it brunch.'

Burger chef measuring a man's mouth for size.

Grim Reaper with ChipsFries.

"I feel ill Mum. I think it's the pesticides in the vegetables...have to eat burgers and pizzas."

"Sorry I'm late. It took me forever to find this place."

Stratigraphy