Fast Food Gifts

'OK, that's two triple bacon double cheese burgers with extra mayo. Would you like a will with that?'

'...And six pickled eggs please.'

'Oh yeah...a diet soda, too.'

'Is it me or is it a bad idea to eat at a place that prints CPR instructions on their placemats?'

'Did sombody say, McBypass'

'Yeah, I knew you got wings when you went to heaven, but this isn't what I had in mind!'

410 BC: The Roman empire begins its slide into decadence.

Psycho Burger

'And finally, sir, would you like your burger flipped by a Ph.D. in Philosophy, History or English Literature?'

Drive In - "That's $7.99, 2400 calories and 125 grams of fat."

'I suffer from overeating and manic depression.'

'I'll have a monsterburger with cheese and giant fries..oh! and a diet cola, I've got to watch my weight.'

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

Me On A Diet: "I should not be eating this!"

'The salary was terrific, but something about Sally's new job made her very uneasy.'

'Sir, the drive-thru colonoscopy center is next door - but good for you for having it done.'

'Would you like to try our new Family-Style meal deal? While you eat I yell at you to be more like your brother then criticize what you're wearing before saying how much you've disappointed me and your father.'

'Clearly my client would be slim, healthy and attractive if MacBurger had adequately warned him of the dangers of eating every scrap of food in their restaurant.'

The miracle of 2-for-1 pizza.

"I guess it's an OK job. Minimum wage plus all you can eat. I tried to quit once but couldn't get out the door."

How was your hotdog?

'Pizzas for eight.'

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

"You'll have to back out. We don't have a drive-through."

'Donny and I are taking a year off to volunteer for the Pizza Corps.'

"With his augmented reality headset he's actually eating in a five star restaurant."

'I'd like a burger, fries and coffee - but at what cost!?' '$6.95.'

'Why, this isn't even fool's good, these here are chicken nuggets!'

'That's two happy meals, a shake, and four years of college down the drain.'

'Have a McWater. It's all we can serve without being sued.'

Walmart Shopper

"Honey, have you seen my onions?"

'Yes, yes! Fries, too! Hurry!!'

'55 minutes? Really? And you call yourself the fastest land mammal?'

'You were in commodities - cattle, stuff like that - so you must feel right at home here.'