Fast Driver Gifts

I don't brake for lawyers

"I need to tinkle."

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

'So much for your new Satnav!'

Kangaroo mom to child, 'We're not going anywhere until you buckle-up, young man.'

Doug fights back at soaring gas prices.

'You know what they say...live fast, die young and leave a great fossil.'

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

Three lanes of traffic with the first two lanes crowded with turtles. The third lane (to the left) a couple rabbits speeding along without any traffic. An easy pass sign has carrots replacing dollars.

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

"It's an honest mistake I'm sure we'll never hear of again."

Better times ahead.

Lady about flat tire: 'It's not too bad - it's only flat on the bottom.'

Stop, Smell Roses (stop and smell the roses)

Exit Next Left

Through Traffic Keep Left/We're Through Traffic Keep Right

"No officer, I didn't what the speed limit was. Those signs were going by too fast."

Just drive in small circles, then drop me off by that bush. Poober.

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

'Isn't it time you started thinking about cars instead of horsie rides?'

"Remember, when you back up, make that 'beep beep' sound."

'God's speed.'

'Geoffrey's kit car can go from nought to upside down in under nine seconds.'

"I'm pretty sure my self-driving car is moonlighting for Uber behind my back."

"Your driver will arrive in 4...9...17 minutes after three accidental loops around the airport."

"Yeah, a merry Christmas to you too."

'I told you not to rely on the sat-nav.'

'Isn't that a little extreme? - Cloning yourself just so you can use the carpool lane?'

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

"For pity's sake, George - stop tooting and ask for directions!"