Fashionable Friend Pillows

'I'm afraid that smartphone is designed for people who are much cooler than you.'

"It's like Poundstore or Quid Emporium only we're in Knightsbridge."

"This is going to fly off the shelves!"

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

Rap music

"I don't like your application."

Cinderella insisted on always having glass slippers - even into old age...

"I used to be a medium, but now I'm a large."

We stock ALL sizes...

'No-one buys these stylish frames for their eyes, usually it's for their Facebook photo's.'

"Trust me, detainee orange is going to be huge this fall."

Chippunks

Rainbow skier

'You'll grow into it!'

'Is that a wig?'

Man clothes shopping with wife sees signs for Women's Changing Rooms and Men's Stress Counsellor

"How am I looking for my first day back at work?"

Taking the elevator instead of the stairs.

QR tattoo.

Sally and her fashionista friends get to me. Save our mall! Ignore them! Let's take your mind off them. Don't even think it! I know. Going shopping would be wring. Does ordering online count.

You always wanted a cute leather jacket

"Which one more says 'Cool Guy?'"

'Okay you can get dressed. That will help me determine the billing.'

'Go on, have one drink with me.'

Why do men wear long short pants?

"And he has such soulful eyes."

Matching Outfits

'Call me a slave to fashion, but how do I get down from these without killing myself?'

"Here, try this on." "But mom, everyone's wearing three ply. I'll be a freak."

'Did you know golf is the healthiest sport you can play?'

"I promise I won’t get upset. Just tell me why you chewed up her Chanel pumps."

Bags of money

'Kevin, I'm sorry for losing my temper on the eighteenth. Ah I see they removed the flag alright.'

'Of course it's more than we can afford - you want us to lose our image in the neighbourhood?'

Laurence Llewellyn Bowen.