Fashion-forward Friend Pillows

You may kiss the bride but be careful of her lip piercings.

'Call me a slave to fashion, but how do I get down from these without killing myself?'

Rap music

Spotty dress

"It's just a hydrant tattoo. Don't even think about it."

"I know nothing about yoga. I just like the pants."

Heidi Klum

This girl had a very faded top...

Then and Now

'Is that a wig?'

'I think sir requires heavyweight!'

"I don't like your application."

Rainbow skier

Laurence Llewellyn Bowen.

"Sorry I'm late, chief - I had a little trouble working out my grooming strategy this morning."

"Which one more says 'Cool Guy?'"

"Here, try this on." "But mom, everyone's wearing three ply. I'll be a freak."

"How am I looking for my first day back at work?"

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

"I’ll tell ya who’s got a ‘dark side’: my cat, that’s who. You should see what she did to my Manolo Blahnik pumps!"

Cinderella insisted on always having glass slippers - even into old age...

"I used to be a medium, but now I'm a large."

'No-one buys these stylish frames for their eyes, usually it's for their Facebook photo's.'

"Trust me, detainee orange is going to be huge this fall."

We stock ALL sizes...

Chippunks

'...but since no fossils of dinosaur clothing have yet been found, what you see here is mostly speculation.'

"I want you to work late. Put on your overtime shoes."

Prosecco Drinker

Man clothes shopping with wife sees signs for Women's Changing Rooms and Men's Stress Counsellor

Why do men wear long short pants?

Sally and her fashionista friends get to me. Save our mall! Ignore them! Let's take your mind off them. Don't even think it! I know. Going shopping would be wring. Does ordering online count.

QR tattoo.

You always wanted a cute leather jacket

"I promise I won’t get upset. Just tell me why you chewed up her Chanel pumps."