Farmyard Fable Fan Gifts

Cop gives ASBO to cockerel: 'This of this as a cock-a-doodle-don't.'

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

'This wasn't quite the fairytale ending that Colin had anticipated...'

Raptures

'I don't care what the Hares have. Dial-Up is good enough for us!'

"Eat my dust!"

Yoyo sheep

Dedication to excellence....

'No, you can't play Space Invaders in it.'

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

Apparently all our farts damage the ozone layer....

"This isn't the big city anymore, Jim. I'm the facilitator now."

"Just a harmless little genetic experiment," they said. Yeah, right...

'Remember to eat your 500,000 a day son!'

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

"I know you're a cow, but you're still hogging the covers!"

Despite Having Given Up His Veterinary Practice George liked To Keep His Hand In...

'This'll save a couple of journeys!'

'Have you tried a licensed health practicioner?'

"It's a scientific breakthrough! This seed will produce less corn...thus driving up the price!"

'It's the cows. They can't get past a cattle guard.'

Drug Testing Unit: 'Uh Oh!'

'That's cow. What do cows say, Jimmy? Cows say moo. Look Jimmy, a chicken.'

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

'Thanks to the internet, I can telecommute a few days a week now: I don't need to waste so much time travelling...'

'They used to be called sheep, and they produced wool. Now they're some sort of bioengineered creatures, and they produce antibiotics.'

The Animal Researcher Reports...'I've been watching this herd of cattle for seven years, and to be frank, I haven't seen them do anything yet!'

"One of your delicious ducks got into my yard yesterday."

The Scenic Route

Free Range Eggs - ""I've decided to sell up. I'm having trouble making hens meet."

U.S. Farm Production: Cup Runneth Over.

So? You snort when you laugh, too.

You can always tell animals trained by 4H kids.

Scotsman Playing Cow Bagpipes.