Farmyard Diplomat T-Shirts

'Ok, they want a year's supply of meal, no more shearing, just trimming and our own barn. But until then, this camera and the pictures of your 'date with Daisy' stay with me.'

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

"This happens everytime someone asks to speak to the head of the household."

Diner

'We consult those with whom we agree, which is why I rarely consult my conscience.'

"I'm bilingual. I can talk to parents and step parents."

'I had to stamp down on staff using nicknames at work. They even had one for me!'

Playground reputation.

"If we're a team, the manager should take the heat!"

'If Mom says no, you ask Dad -- it's called the 'checks and balances' system.'

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comments section just solved the Middle East crisis."

'Dad, I don't need a two-thirds majority to over-ride your veto. I've got mom.'

What really happened on the EVER GIVEN

'I know that other kids manage on ?5 pocket money - but their parents don't charge them to watch any television programme their parents don't happen to approve off!'

How's the boss today? Should I push his buttons or pull his chain?

Conflict Resolution Training - Cancelled Due To Disagreement Over Venue.

'I take it this department has had conflicts.'

'...and what do doctors recommend for pain?'

'They aren't shy about cutting you out of the decision making process.'

'I don't want anything for myself...But if it's not too much trouble, please send my mother a son-in-law who's a Doctor...'

'You wouldn't believe how hard it is for me to unwind after work.'

"The new boss might seem severe, but he won't bite your head off!"

Landing That Tough Account

'A mediator hasn't worked, so I brought in everyone's moms.'

'He pats my back, but I don't pat his.'

'Miss Kress, who on our staff is in charge of denials and uncomfortable realities.'

"You’ll meet a beautiful woman whom your mother will loathe."

'Let's arbitrate.'

"Come pick me up. This is going nowhere,"

Avoiding bosses on stairs vs. elevator.

"Does anyone second the motion to make family meetings more informal?"