Barnyard Diplomat T-Shirts

"Now, follow me. . . You, on the other hand, have tons of hay but need milk. Right? I, on the other hand, have plenty of milk but need hay. . ."

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

'You need an education or you will wind up in some fast food place.'

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

Cow Blue Arrows

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

"They’re real."

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

'Take my advice kid. Enjoy yourself now, because once you get married, your free ranging days are over.'

'To be honest I'm sick of truffles.'

Moo! OOM!

'I'm sorry young lady, but you're not old enough to be free range!'

"Three yummies, a pat on the head, and a 'Good doggy.' That's my client's final offer."

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

"Come off it, you're not working from dawn till dusk: You're working at dawn and at dusk..."

Wife to husband dressed as pantomime cow: 'I know you're exhausted, love, but at least the panto season is now ... BEHIND YOU!!'

Bad news I'm afraid. Our universe is shrinking!

Landing That Tough Account

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

Ham-Dram

'It's Always 'Good Dog'—Never 'Great Dog.'

'Your barn door's open.'

'A Telegram, M'Lord.'

"....one minute I'm there - chewing the cud - the next, I get this urge to lead!"

'The cow mooed, the pig oinked, the chicken clucked, I baaed and then we adjourned.'

"I'm just saying, studies show that owning a human can improve the quality of your life."

'I wonder if I can declare you as dependents on my income taxes?'

'Oh, yes, you will get off!'

"I'm about ready to forgive the French."

"Wow, interesting, looks like she's not just being mean: research shows that chocolate is actually bad for us. . ."

'With a herd of three cows it doesn't take long for inventory, does it, Dad?'