Playground Diplomat T-Shirts

"I don't have a problem with bullies. I tell them my mom's a lawyer and they leave me alone."

"Come pick me up. This is going nowhere,"

Show-Off-And-Tell.

'I don't care whether you think it's an affront to your 'Human Rights', I still want you to go to the naughty corner!'

'Mother, the other children won't permit me to participate in their activities -- they allege that I have elitist tendencies.'

'I'm John Glynn. My dad is your dad's boss. Give me that swing.'

Playground reputation.

"It's not tattling. I prefer to call it providing intel."

"Face it Tyler, you're going to have to walk back those comments about Andrew's mom."

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

"So, what do you do for play?"

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

"Recess does things to a man."

"Your credentials are impressive, Carter but... quite frankly, Mr. Biggles doesn't seem to like you."

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

'Don't forget to take your tranquilizers Daddy, little Jimmy is coming round to play.'

'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'

Little boys

Who posted the hilarious pics of you with the goofy haircut? Not sure. Someone who wants to humiliate me. One of the usual cyber bullies. No. Meaner. Hmm

'Oh,oh, Regina has her lawyer with her.'

'I've been depressed ever since PBS said pigs are smarter than dogs!'

"There goes the merger between Brigg's corporation and Ludlow industries!"

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

Riding the statue.

Landing That Tough Account

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."

'It's Always 'Good Dog'—Never 'Great Dog.'

"After all the trouble I've been in lately, I decided to hire a PR firm to repair my image."

'A Telegram, M'Lord.'

"I'm just saying, studies show that owning a human can improve the quality of your life."

'Don't forget to talk about their dog!'

'Okay, let's negotiate. Just how good do I have to be?'