Toy Diplomat T-Shirts

'Now run & play in a bipartisan manner.'

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

"Even when he throws them on the floor, he doesn't want the peas and carrots to touch."

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"Sorry, that was just the wet diaper talking."

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

"Your credentials are impressive, Carter but... quite frankly, Mr. Biggles doesn't seem to like you."

Playground reputation.

'Please forgive me for anything I've said or left unsaid.'

'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'

Who posted the hilarious pics of you with the goofy haircut? Not sure. Someone who wants to humiliate me. One of the usual cyber bullies. No. Meaner. Hmm

"Three yummies, a pat on the head, and a 'Good doggy.' That's my client's final offer."

'I've been depressed ever since PBS said pigs are smarter than dogs!'

"Trust me, Son, you do not want to 'grow up to be president.' "

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

Landing That Tough Account

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."

'It's Always 'Good Dog'—Never 'Great Dog.'

"After all the trouble I've been in lately, I decided to hire a PR firm to repair my image."

'A Telegram, M'Lord.'

'Don't forget to talk about their dog!'

'Okay, let's negotiate. Just how good do I have to be?'

"I'm just saying, studies show that owning a human can improve the quality of your life."

'Oh, yes, you will get off!'

'If I eat three more pieces of meat and three more spoonfuls of peas, I want three puddings after!'

'You can't charm me out of this chair.'

"I'm about ready to forgive the French."

"Wow, interesting, looks like she's not just being mean: research shows that chocolate is actually bad for us. . ."

"Sign the contract first kid, then you get the sweets!"

"Come pick me up. This is going nowhere,"

"It was humiliating! First, he told me to beg and then he wanted me to roll over and pretend I was dead...so, I bit him!"

Advantages of Growing Older