Dog Park Diplomat T-Shirts

Dog Park. Ernie, let me help you navigate the dog park safely. Thanks. Never ask the dalmatian if you can play "Connect the Dots." Don't discuss international politics with the Siberian Husky, or make jokes around the Greyhound. The Saint Bernard does not find it funny if you ask for his blessing. And most importantly, unless you schedule is clear for a week ... yeah? Don't say "yes" when the Lab asks you to play with that ball with him!

"There's nothing like dog-walking for making new friends...."

Now, let's not be hasty! They may look the same, but we are both duty bound to fetch our own master's ball...

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

Tiny dog catches frisbee that spins him around in circles.

People who let their big dogs run around leash free and then say things like. . .

Canine Scentipede

'Rover isn't any good at catching frisbees. You've heard of stone hands?...he's got a stone mouth.'

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

"A little help, please."

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

"This is so fun - I've been wagging my tail so much my cheeks hurt!"

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

"Hey, that's disgusting! You can't leave that on the footpath: Make sure your master comes and picks it up!"

"Your credentials are impressive, Carter but... quite frankly, Mr. Biggles doesn't seem to like you."

'The vet said that getting spayed might hurt a little. But having nine puppies hurt a little, too.'

"Cheers mate, you've done me a solid."

"Humans are strange."

"Are you happy with your current ball?"

'I am SO getting my ass kicked at the dog park.'

Upper East Side Dog Park

Playground reputation.

Dog Park Zoom

"Take a right at Rocky's fire hydrant. A left at Duke's bench and the dog part will be one block past buddy's tree."

"Sorry - my dog is at the vet. This one is a loaner."

"I yip, therefore I am."

'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'

"The vet made me wear this, and I can't lick my balls...uh...could I lick yours for awhile, Rex?"

"Yeah, I've put on a lot of weight, but my master's favourite command is "sit, sit, sit!" I barely ever get to exercise..."

"Honestly, I prefer stick."

"Three yummies, a pat on the head, and a 'Good doggy.' That's my client's final offer."

'I've been depressed ever since PBS said pigs are smarter than dogs!'

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."