Dog Diplomacy Enthusiast T-Shirts

"If he wants to kiss dogs, let him kiss dogs."

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

"Your credentials are impressive, Carter but... quite frankly, Mr. Biggles doesn't seem to like you."

'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'

AUKUS Deal Annoys France

"Three yummies, a pat on the head, and a 'Good doggy.' That's my client's final offer."

'I've been depressed ever since PBS said pigs are smarter than dogs!'

Landing That Tough Account

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."

'It's Always 'Good Dog'—Never 'Great Dog.'

'A Telegram, M'Lord.'

'A listener from Ridgeway asks, 'When visiting a friend, is it improper to drink out of the toilet unless asked first?' Good question...'

'Don't forget to talk about their dog!'

'You can't charm me out of this chair.'

"Wow, interesting, looks like she's not just being mean: research shows that chocolate is actually bad for us. . ."

'Oh, yes, you will get off!'

"I'm about ready to forgive the French."

John Kerry

'We're going to need one or two scapegoats. Are there any volunteers?'

Bipartisan.

Advantages of Growing Older

"It was humiliating! First, he told me to beg and then he wanted me to roll over and pretend I was dead...so, I bit him!"

"There's nothing like dog-walking for making new friends...."

Cat thrusts note through mousehole that reads 'Can't we talk about this?'

Cat pleads into mouse hole: 'Can't we talk about this?'

"There, are you happy?"

'Okay, how do we do this?'

"Is your dog going to rip our heads off … I mean, friendly?"