Foodie Diplomat T-Shirts

"Why is it we never focus on the things that unite us, like falafel?"

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"How come you always take Amnesty International's side?"

"My smelly French cheese is much better than your Canadian beef."

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

"So are you can't cook or won't cook?"

"How is the dollar trading against the Martini today, Jack?"

Thanksgiving Family Get-Togethers

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

"How many times have I told you? No trading Asian market at the dinner table."

'We cut it into teensy-weensy squares.'

Landing That Tough Account

"Is anyone enjoying anything?"

"Tell him I can still hear him chewing."

Children hold hands around a map of the world with picnic food.

"After all the trouble I've been in lately, I decided to hire a PR firm to repair my image."

'Okay, let's negotiate. Just how good do I have to be?'

'My fortune says you're a liar, so I won't even ask what yours says.'

'We'd like a quiet table for 47.'

"You'll have one bite of everything!"

"Sign the contract first kid, then you get the sweets!"

Opting for Chinese food for lunch, the law partners decide in principle to share their dishes and, accordingly, before ordering, negotiate a comprehensive pre-victual agreement.

"Is this the table with a complaint?"

"There's U.N. Weapons Inspectors at the door. They need to see your meatloaf."

'Thanks, Sis, but I think it's my turn to leave the stealth tip.'

'I, for one, am sick of this 'King of the Apes' business! I demand a Republic!'

Cat pleads into mouse hole: 'Can't we talk about this?'

"These family dinners have become a lot friendlier since we started wearing nametags."

"Would either of you care to look at the dessert menu, or are you still breaking up?"

"Just one menu for us, please. We don't want to overeat."

U.S. Bread Basket.

Non-smoking. Do you have a footsies section and a non-footsies section?

'Ok, they want a year's supply of meal, no more shearing, just trimming and our own barn. But until then, this camera and the pictures of your 'date with Daisy' stay with me.'

"Would you mind bringing me a Western utensil?"

'My fortune says 'You have enjoyed genetically modified rice and you will be hungry for more in an hour.''