Dietary Diplomat T-Shirts

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

"Your credentials are impressive, Carter but... quite frankly, Mr. Biggles doesn't seem to like you."

"Sorry, that was just the wet diaper talking."

"My smelly French cheese is much better than your Canadian beef."

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

"Do you know I fought an hour with that salmon you're eating."

Well, everything's going great! I guess it's time to bring in the naysayers.

"So are you can't cook or won't cook?"

"Huddleston, I admire your hands-on approach to everything, but get the hell out of my office!"

'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'

Thanksgiving Family Get-Togethers

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

"How many times have I told you? No trading Asian market at the dinner table."

"I thought we agreed that the dining room was a buffer zone."

'My dad must like you, or he would have charged by now.'

'I've been depressed ever since PBS said pigs are smarter than dogs!'

"Is anyone enjoying anything?"

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

'No, there's nothing else: At this time of year, we eat salmon!'

'For once can't we all just sit down and eat as a family?'

'We cut it into teensy-weensy squares.'

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."

Landing That Tough Account

'It's Always 'Good Dog'—Never 'Great Dog.'

"Tell him I can still hear him chewing."

'A Telegram, M'Lord.'

'Don't forget to talk about their dog!'

"Do you have to mime looking at your mobile at the dinner table Marceau?"

'My fortune says you're a liar, so I won't even ask what yours says.'