Dieting Diplomat T-Shirts

'We cut it into teensy-weensy squares.'

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"My smelly French cheese is much better than your Canadian beef."

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

'Does the Fifth Amendment apply to report cards?'

"Do you know I fought an hour with that salmon you're eating."

"So are you can't cook or won't cook?"

"How is the dollar trading against the Martini today, Jack?"

Thanksgiving Family Get-Togethers

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

"How many times have I told you? No trading Asian market at the dinner table."

"I thought we agreed that the dining room was a buffer zone."

'My dad must like you, or he would have charged by now.'

"Is anyone enjoying anything?"

'No, there's nothing else: At this time of year, we eat salmon!'

Landing That Tough Account

'For once can't we all just sit down and eat as a family?'

Excess Baggage: If you can draw, you don't have to know the local language.

"Tell him I can still hear him chewing."

"After all the trouble I've been in lately, I decided to hire a PR firm to repair my image."

'A Telegram, M'Lord.'

'Okay, let's negotiate. Just how good do I have to be?'

'My fortune says you're a liar, so I won't even ask what yours says.'

'If I eat three more pieces of meat and three more spoonfuls of peas, I want three puddings after!'

"You'll have one bite of everything!"

"Do you have to mime looking at your mobile at the dinner table Marceau?"

Screen Time at the Dining Table

'We'd like a quiet table for 47.'

"Sign the contract first kid, then you get the sweets!"

Opting for Chinese food for lunch, the law partners decide in principle to share their dishes and, accordingly, before ordering, negotiate a comprehensive pre-victual agreement.

'It's gluten-free or free range or something. Enjoy.'

'It started out with lactose, but ow he's intolerant of everything.'

"Ambitions . . . never, ever to eat broccoli again."

"Is this the table with a complaint?"