Dieting Diplomat T-Shirts

'We cut it into teensy-weensy squares.'

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"My smelly French cheese is much better than your Canadian beef."

'Does the Fifth Amendment apply to report cards?'

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

"Do you know I fought an hour with that salmon you're eating."

"How is the dollar trading against the Martini today, Jack?"

"So are you can't cook or won't cook?"

Thanksgiving Family Get-Togethers

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

"How many times have I told you? No trading Asian market at the dinner table."

"I thought we agreed that the dining room was a buffer zone."

'My dad must like you, or he would have charged by now.'

'No, there's nothing else: At this time of year, we eat salmon!'

"Is anyone enjoying anything?"

Excess Baggage: If you can draw, you don't have to know the local language.

Landing That Tough Account

'For once can't we all just sit down and eat as a family?'

"Tell him I can still hear him chewing."

"After all the trouble I've been in lately, I decided to hire a PR firm to repair my image."

'A Telegram, M'Lord.'

'Okay, let's negotiate. Just how good do I have to be?'

'My fortune says you're a liar, so I won't even ask what yours says.'

"Do you have to mime looking at your mobile at the dinner table Marceau?"

'If I eat three more pieces of meat and three more spoonfuls of peas, I want three puddings after!'

Nuclear Families

Screen Time at the Dining Table

"You'll have one bite of everything!"

'We'd like a quiet table for 47.'

Opting for Chinese food for lunch, the law partners decide in principle to share their dishes and, accordingly, before ordering, negotiate a comprehensive pre-victual agreement.

"Sign the contract first kid, then you get the sweets!"

'It's gluten-free or free range or something. Enjoy.'

'It started out with lactose, but ow he's intolerant of everything.'

"Ambitions . . . never, ever to eat broccoli again."

"There's U.N. Weapons Inspectors at the door. They need to see your meatloaf."