Dinner Diplomat T-Shirts

"Tell him I can still hear him chewing."

'My fortune says 'You have enjoyed genetically modified rice and you will be hungry for more in an hour.''

"Are Mommy and Patty and Kenny mad at Daddy?"

"These family dinners have become a lot friendlier since we started wearing nametags."

"Dinner is on the table. Just not prepared."

Thanksgiving Family Get-Togethers

"Would either of you care to look at the dessert menu, or are you still breaking up?"

"How many times have I told you? No trading Asian market at the dinner table."

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

'Mom said not to ask Dad for money 'til after he's had his dinner.'

'Listen dear, 30 million and not a cent more!'

"So are you can't cook or won't cook?"

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

"My smelly French cheese is much better than your Canadian beef."

"I believe I'll skip the appetizer. I ate the flowers."

"Do you know I fought an hour with that salmon you're eating."

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

"How is the dollar trading against the Martini today, Jack?"

"No dessert until you finish your dark matter."

"I thought we agreed that the dining room was a buffer zone."

'My dad must like you, or he would have charged by now.'

'No, there's nothing else: At this time of year, we eat salmon!'

'For once can't we all just sit down and eat as a family?'

'We cut it into teensy-weensy squares.'

"Is anyone enjoying anything?"

Screen Time at the Dining Table

"Do you have to mime looking at your mobile at the dinner table Marceau?"

'My fortune says you're a liar, so I won't even ask what yours says.'

'We'd like a quiet table for 47.'

"You'll have one bite of everything!"

'Spuds were watery. And where's my damn dessert?'

Opting for Chinese food for lunch, the law partners decide in principle to share their dishes and, accordingly, before ordering, negotiate a comprehensive pre-victual agreement.

'It's gluten-free or free range or something. Enjoy.'

'It started out with lactose, but ow he's intolerant of everything.'

'Macaroni and cheese, three nights in a row?... That's justifiable homicide in my book!'